February 2012
179 posts
I know how to spell words.
If I could only convince my fingers that.
How does one become an Olypmic bobsledder
I could do that shit. edit: I just looked it up and sent in my athletic resume. Looks like I’ve got a reason to start working out again.
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I accepted the job offer
So now I’ll be in Flint 5 or 6 days a week. It’s nice because this gives me a chance to save up some money. My current lease runs until September, so I figure that I’ll work until then, re-asses the situation, then move somewhere warm. This makes it easier because I was kinda stressing about getting a sub-letter for my place this summer and this job really boosts my resume.
I'm looking for a girl I can meet up with late at...
It’s like a booty call but with waffles instead of sex.
That was a genuine thought.
I should go to sleep.
Why don't we read bottom to top?
That would give people a sense of accomplishment. Like they just built a tower of words.
If I ever buy a large estate
I’m going to call it “Bedside Manor”
I like to sign up for dating websites because I...
I saw a girl I used to have something with on there. The last thing I said to her was something like “You’re too fat for me anyways” when I was drunk and leaving a party where she was talking to another guy. I’ve learned a lot. Like never to do that. That was three years ago. Ha. I just asked her out on a date.
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California weather.
Morning: HOLY SHIT its freezing.
Afternoon: Who the fuck set the earth on fire.
Shut the hell up
Michigan Morning: Fuck, I think my heart was punctured by an icicle fell from the ceiling through my chest
Michigan Afternoon: Good think there are no jobs so I can spend my entire day foraging for firewood so my family can possibly make it through another night.
batbooty asked: i just noticed that you followed me, and while i'm flattered, i really don't feel like i deserve it. that sounds stupid, but your writing is just... beautiful, and something i admire a lot. my posts are all pretty shallow. about animu, comic book characters, and pretty art. so why are you following me? i'm embarrassed about asking you this, but i'm honestly stumped. please...
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Ugh- music has changed so much!
Music then:
Whoa, black betty (bam-A-lam)
whoa, black betty (bam-A-lam)
Black betty had a child (bam-A-lam)
The damn thing gone wild (bam-A-lam)
She said “It weren’t none of mine” (bam-A-lam)
The damn thing gone blind (bam-A-lam)
I said oh black betty (bam-A-lam)
whoa, black betty (bam-BA-lam)
whoa, black betty (bam-BA-lam)
whoa, black betty (bam-BA-lam)
- Ram Jam
...
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I'm back on a high-protein diet because I like...
It’s stupid because I don’t play sports anymore- but what if the Ruskies come charging over the hill- then what? I’ll tell you what- these gleaming biceps and this double barrel shotgun and these belts of ammo draped across my bare chest aren’t going to seem so superfluous after all…
I've made three types of mistakes in my life
Those involving women
Those involving money
Those which are a combination of women and money.
I find they arrange themselves in a pyramid, with the third being the most prevalent- a sort of base for my debauchery. And before anyone says anything- let me remind you that “something I regret” and “a mistake” are two entirely different things.
Anonymous asked: Say you're pretty much in a relationship with a guy, you talk on the phone, skype, and see each other whenever you're in the same town (visiting home from school). But he won't put a label on the relationship. It's obviously not nothing if he's dropping the L word. Why are guys afraid to be committed to a girl?
Anonymous asked: be more of a hypocrite, didn't you just drive to the middle of nowhere for a constantly drunk bitch? you even reblogged a picture of her--talking about how she sexts you when she's drunk. just shut up.
And I'm a registered republican.
But, WTF, it’s called separation of Church and State, you Dingus.
I can see Rick Santorum being popular if it was...
But we don’t. So, why?
I don't know why guys find it attractive if a girl...
Nothing gets me hot like early onset alcoholism and binge-drinking.
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Us Michiganders are notorious for out unscrupulous...
snowness replied to your post: Went in for the interview today
You’re from Michigan, you can deal.
PS I know I said Flint was the worst but Sag-nasty gives it a run for its money.
How To Remove Your Google Search History →
themollycool:
You only have until March 1 to do this.
DO THIS
Went in for the interview today
It’s a business that specializes in buying gold i.e. kind of a rip-off joint. But, as much as I hate so say it, I’m good at ripping people off. The interview went so well that they asked me to manage a location they are opening up March 1st. The only catch? It’s in Flint, positively the worst town in America. I don’t how I feel about being the guy who everyone things has a...
I grow a thick, steel wool beard every day.
Shaving is like dragging a hoe through unfurrowed ground.
Glad to see I'm not the only one who'd beat the...
2 tags
For my last girlfriend, every Tuesday was Fat...
I have an interview tomorrow at pawn shop
I love pawn shops. It’s only like 10 hours a week, but it would be so cool to work there.
Truthful Tuesday: A woman's touch
Is like a warm fever.
Truthful Tuesday: how I write
For me, writing is cathartic. It is a blinding explosion, it is bulls running through Pamplona, it is a airplane crashing into the side of a mountain jarring lose the snow cap and it screaming down the cliff, tumbling over itself, looking like heavy white smoke. I may write for hours and thousands of words and it is deeply personal, so personal that sometimes it hurts to go through and refine what...
Kurt invented a laser scanner
Me: What you do if someone stole the design for your laser scanner and put it up online?
Kurt: I'd advise them not to do that.
Me: Why?
Kurt: Because I'd know where they sleep and I'd kill them.
Pause
Me: You think someone who'd be crazy enough to steal laser scanner plans and post them onto a website sleeps?
I just applied for two jobs
One in the Marshall Islands, one in Namibia. I guess I want to get away.
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“Yeah, that’s why there aren’t any female superheroes. Imagine a female superhero...”
– My brother (via kristenamblr)
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Watchlikesnowlike-gold:
omg the end with the flashing lights.
okay im gonna stop reblogging these now.
This will make you laugh
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What I love most about the present tense
is the urgency it instills.
I think
I’m gonna write a book make a sandwich
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krystinjanette asked: There are almost seven billion people on Earth (and pages of Google suppositions re: how many of those are met in an average lifetime.) In its ongoing growth, technology offers steady and innumerable opportunities for our generation to 'make friends.' That being said; do you feel a large audience/network online can detract from interpersonal communication? Does social networking...
